Not that bad
by carylfan10
Summary: After their breakup, Sam gets a phone call that changes his- and Diane's- life. Something was wrong with her, but it couldn't be that bad. Diane was strong enough to deal with anything. Maybe it was he who wasn't that strong, after all.
1. Chapter 1

Sam was joking around with his friends, laughing like he hadn't a care in the world. It was a nice July day, business was booming and his dating life was beginning to pick up again. It had been two months since it, since the blowup, and he hadn't heard from or Diane ever since the day he called it quits with her. It was better that way, he'd decided. He picked up the phone once to call her, just to see how she was doing, but her phone had been disconnected. Maybe she couldn't find work. After all, she only took the job at Cheers because they both agreed she wouldn't be good at anything else. But Sam managed to brush all thoughts of Diane aside, and had begun to pick up the pieces of his life. Yes, life was good these days.

No fights, no bickering, no one telling him how to act or what to say. No one to grab the mirror from his hands even if it was the twelfth time he'd picked it up that day. No one to criticize his every thought and move. Come to think of it, why was he ever with her to begin with?

"Come on, Sam, you're starting to get all Gloomy Gus on us. What's going on? We're all having a grand old time with the game. You're not getting all misty on us are you?" Carla yelled as she placed her order.

"Yeah..the game. That's it. I guess I was just looking back and thinking about what might have been," he lied. Sam knew it was a lie but he also knew that was what Carla was wanting to hear. If she knew that he was thinking of Diane Chambers, she'd give him a tough time, and that's not what he needed today.

"Well cut it out. So you made a few bad plays. Who hasn't? I have five kids. You wanna talk about regrets? "

"Well since you asked…"

"Cut it out. Coach, talk some sense into him."

"Sam, you were the greatest relief pitcher the game ever saw, and I saw a few great pitchers in my time."

Sam smiled. "Thanks, Coach. You always know what to say. How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

Sam chuckled. Good old Coach, he thought to himself. Maybe he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he had a heart of gold, and there was no one he'd rather have as an assistant bartender than Ernie Pantusso.

"Hurry up with the beers will ya? Norm over here is actually talking to Clavin now. You know what I'll do if that Neanderthal gets going?" Carla barked.

"Sorry, Carla. You're right. We have the game on, I have my friends and my hair, what more could a guy want?"

"Howabout a night with yours truly? That's what all the guys I ever met wanted," Carla leaned against the counter and smiled at her friend.

"Maybe one of these nights, Carla. You never know."

Just as Carla was about to make her comeback, the phone rang. Laughing, Sam answered it.

"Cheers."

There was a pause from the other end. "Hello, my name is Dr. Frasier Crane. Might I speak with a Sam Malone?"

"You got him. Who did you say this was anyways?"

"Dr. Frasier Crane. I'm a psychiatrist. Maybe you've heard of me? I've published several papers that have drawn attention to my work."

"Sorry, buddy, never heard of you. Is there…is there something that I can help you with?"

"Actually, yes, there is something you can help me with. I'm calling regarding a patient of mine, perhaps you know her. Her name is Diane Chambers."

Sam turned around and placed his hand over the receiver, afraid to give away any reaction at the sound of her name. Diane…a psychiatrist..what was going on here?

"Let me take this in the other room. Hold on a minute, will ya?"

"Of course."

After a minute Sam went to his office where he picked up the phone. "What's this about Diane? Is she using you to get back at me for something?"

"Is there something that you have done that she would like to get 'back at you'?"

"No, no don't do this. I know how all of you psychiatrists work. I ask a question, I get a question in return. Don 't do that to me, Dr.."

"Crane. Dr. Crane."

"Listen, Dr. Crane, I don't know who you are or what you want from me, but my days with Diane Chambers are over. We have nothing left to discuss. So I don't know what all garbage she is telling you, but believe me, it's over between us."

"I was afraid you would say that. You see, Diane is in trouble…I really don't know why I called. I suppose I was hoping you would help me get to the bottom of things…"

"What do you mean bottom of things? What kind of trouble is she in? She didn't go loony did she? Man I hate when chicks do that …"

"Sam, Diane Chambers did not go loony. I am rather limited as to what I can reveal about her condition, but I can assure you that I am not calling to place blame on anyone. My goal is to help Diane recover and to become well. And although I don't know much about you or your situation, I was hoping that you would also care about her well-being," Frasier added.

"This sounds serious, Doc. What's wrong with her?"

There was a quiet pause from Frasier before he started to speak. Although he never was one at a loss for words, how could he possibly tell Sam what he needed to say? Her condition was hard enough for anyone to comprehend, let alone a mildly educated bartender? He thought about his approach.

"Sam, have you ever noticed anything particular about Diane's eating habits?"

"Yeah, she eats like a bird. Drives me crazy. We would go to a hoighty toity restaurant and then she would pick at her meal. I usually wound up finishing her meal for her. What's this got to do with anything?"

"I was afraid of that. So this has been a long time coming. But I need to understand what happened that pushed her over the edge, if you will. Would you mind my coming to Boston to discuss things further with you?"

Sam wanted to make a joke, as he usually did at times like this, but he refrained himself this time. "Yeah, sure. Come to Cheers. It's in the book."

"Okay, Sam. We'll see you in a day or two."

"That soon?"

"This really can't wait. I'm sorry. Thank you for your help."

Sam hung up the phone, suddenly feeling the urge for a drink. He couldn't do that, now that Diane needed him. What was it about her that drew him in, even when they were apart?

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_Two years ago_

_Magnificent Pagan Beast_

_In walked the most beautiful woman Sam had ever seen. He'd already known that she was out of his league, but what was the harm in trying? True, she was hours away from her wedding, but that had never stopped Sam before. No married women, but every other member of the opposite gender was fair game. Maybe he wanted to prove something, to himself or to others, that he still had "it" but whatever the reason, he decided then and there that he would hire Diane Chambers. It could be the biggest mistake of his life, and he had a feeling it would be, but no, he just had to take this path and see where it might lead._

"_So, how do you like it?" Sam smiled as he poured a beer at Diane's request._

"_I beg your pardon?"_

"_The job…how do you like it?"_

"_Well, considering it's only a stepping stone to my future career…"_

"_What career might that be?"_

"_Never mind that, Sam. You asked me how I like it and I would say that all things considering, it isn't what I expected."_

"_What were you expecting?"_

"_Well, this is an interesting character study in human nature. Every day I watch innocent bystanders engage in conversation. Some choose to make small talk, if you will. Others engage in more meaningful conversation, such as where they want to make their next home, or what they predict the outcome of the next ballgame will be. Either way, it's a give and take, and it is fascinating to observe. Merely from an academic point of view, of course," Diane smiled as she took the beer. "What…what are you smiling at?"_

_Sam laughed. "Nothing. Do you realize you just answered my question without answering it?"_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_Nothing, Diane. Go get that drink out to our customer."_

_With that, Sam realized that he had just said "our" in reference to himself and Diane. He didn't realize how quickly she had become part of him; all he knew was that she made the day that much more interesting- and she looked great in a skirt._

0000

Sam couldn't sleep that night. Memories of their past haunted him, and if Carla knew that it was Diane who still captured his dreams every night, Sam knew there would be trouble. But this was serious. A shrink was calling about Diane. Diane, who held as much pride as he did, had to resort to seeing a shrink, and he felt guilty. He knew that he was the reason she was seeing Dr. Crane, and the guilt was well-founded. He'd pushed her over their edge with their breakup (their last one anyhow) and he hadn't liked himself very much for a very, very long time afterwards.

Still, a shrink? That seemed rather drastic. Sam kind of missed the old days when they would resolve their problems in a good old fashioned argument, the kind with no winners but each one taking solace in knowing that they were right. It didn't matter who started it; each one basked in the knowledge that they were right and the other was wrong, and that was the pattern of their relationship. Sam knew that this was serious, and he felt sick to his stomach knowing that just a simple slap on the face wouldn't bring Diane out of her spell. Probably best not to mention that little tidbit to Dr. Frasier Crane.

He reached in his drawer, and pulled out an old picture of her. He tried to picture her the way he once had, fresh out of her college classes and ready to go to work. She was youthful and energetic, and that was how he liked to picture her. Their last encounter had put a damper on that image, but in his heart he would always remember her the day she was when she walked into the bar.

Suddenly Sam realized that he wished that he had asked for Dr. Crane's number. It would be a long next couple of days.


	3. Chapter 3

"Dr. Crane, thank you for meeting me. Can I call you Frasier?"

"If you like. Frasier's fine. The informality might be a good idea, actually."

"Really?" Sam was always surprised when someone suggested that he had come up with a good idea. Hell, it surprised him when he had one.

Frasier smiled knowingly. "Now Sam, I'm sure you're wondering what led me to Boston. I know that you probably have encountered fellow professionals, although for you, it might be on an informal basis…"

"What are you saying? That you think I've seen a shrink?" Sam had, actually, after his divorce, but he wasn't about to admit that to this guy.

"Just as customers, Sam. Relax, no need to feel threatened by me. We're both here for the same reason… our concern for Diane."

"You never did tell me how she's doing, or what led you to her. She's…all there, isn't she?"

"Yes, Sam, Diane is 'all there', although she is facing a complex situation which is not to be mistaken for weakness on her part. It's important that I emphasize this, because I do know she worries-a lot- of how you view her."

"What's going on, Doc..Frasier? And don't use no hoighty-toity words with me. Just because I haven't had the schooling you and Diane have doesn't mean that I want to be talked down to. Put it on the line, Doc. What's the deal with Diane?"

Frasier frowned, then took ahold of Sam's hands, causing Sam to flinch. "What is it?"

"Sam, I'm afraid to tell you that Diane is suffering from a medical condition, known as anorexia nervosa. It is characterized by…"

"I've heard of that! I've heard of that," Sam pulled away from Frasier. "That means she's not eating, right?"

"Oh, Sam, if it were only that simple. Anorexia, as you may know it, is characterized by a severely restricted food intake, and the person who suffers from it usually has a distorted self-image. This kind of condition can take years, if not a lifetime, to recover from."

"Not eating? That's not so bad, is it, Frase? I mean, all you have to do is put a plate in front of her and…"

"Tell me, Sam, when was the last time you've seen her take in a full meal?"

"Lots of time. I've seen her eat hundreds of times."

"Have you, really? Think about this and be honest with yourself. Be as honest as you can, for Diane's sake."

"Well, I know she's a picky eater. She does eat like a bird. But that's not so bad, lots of women are fussy with their meals."

Frasier frowned. "There's that phrase again, not so bad. I suspect you are having difficulties processing the seriousness of her condition."

"Why, she's probably out tossing the old pigskin around as we speak. You doctors like to exaggerate everything and I think I've heard enough."

"Sam, Diane has been hospitalized for this. She's barely over ninety pounds."

Sam stared at him, unable to believe what he had heard. Ninety pounds? Diane had always been on the thin side, but to have to be that small? This couldn't be right. That couldn't be happening to Diane. Not his Diane.

"Diane has undergone some serious psychological changes, that is why I'm here actually," Frasier began. "She talks a lot of a Howard, but after a little research I've come to see that this Howard is actually you. How would you best characterize your relationship with Diane?"

"No, no you don't. You don't come in here telling me Diane has a problem and then blame me for it. I know I wasn't a perfect boyfriend but I didn't mean her no harm. I would never tell her to lose weight. I am not the reason for her …problems."

Frasier eyed him carefully. "I'm not blaming you, Sam, but I am trying to get at the root of her psychological breakdown, and it seems I can't get anywhere unless I try to figure out what happened at the end of your relationship. That sort of insight can prove invaluable at a time of crisis. I know this must be difficult for you to hear, but believe me, shortchanging it is not going to help anyone, least of all Diane. You may want to take a close look at your relationship with Diane, and try, try to be as honest as you can. She needs you, Sam. She needs you to be honest and strong and wise about this. Can you do this?"

He waited carefully for Sam's next answer. He was surprised at what he heard.


	4. Chapter 4

"I can't do this, Frasier." Sam hung his head down and started to count the tiles on the floor. Anything was better than having this conversation.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't do this…this whatever you're asking of me. You've got the wrong guy."

"You're Sam Malone, aren't you?"

"Yes… but what you're asking is for me to be someone other than I'm not. I'm not the warm supportive boyfriend that Diane needs. I'm a jerk, plain and simple."

"It's obvious you care about Diane or else you wouldn't be crying at this moment," Frasier smiled warmly.

"I'm not crying, I have dirt in my eyes. And besides we both know I'm not what Diane needs. She needs someone who can put her first. In all our years together I never once put her first. And she probably hates me, and she has every right to."

"What do you mean, she hates you? Sam, I have spent countless hours with Diane and I can reassure you, she does not hate you. If anything…"

"What?"

"Never mind. What I'm trying to do is to piece together the information of your last interaction so that I can have a starting point for her healing. Can you help me, Sam? For Diane's sake…and for your own?"

Sam sighed as he wiped his eyes. He hated this. He hated everything at the moment. He hated Frasier and what Diane was going through and he hated everything he had ever said to Diane in the heat of the moment. Yes, this was definitely his fault.

"I hope you know I'm not here to judge you. Who hasn't gotten angry and said things we've regretted? I know I have, if that helps. I just want to see Diane get well, and she needs you. She needs you, Sam? Would it help…"

"Would it help what?"

"Would it help if you talked to her for a minute? If I can use your phone I can dial the hospital where she is at.."

Sam didn't know if he could do this, but he knew he had to try. "Sure, if you think it will help."

Frasier smiled. "Trust me, Sam. But there needs to be some guidelines for this call…"

"Sure anything you say."

"There can be no discussion of the past. Anything that you may have said to her is irrevleant.."

"You just said it would help you if you knew what I'd said!" Sam protested.

"It would help me to help Diane. But she doesn't want to hear about the past, trust me. She needs a familiar and warm voice, and after spending the last half hour with you I can say that it is obvious she means a great deal to you. Now you cannot stay on the phone forever, just a small, simple, hello will do. Can you handle that?" Frasier asked.

"Yes, of course. Let me talk to her."

So Frasier dialed the phone, and after a few minutes he handed it to Sam.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is Diane Chambers."

"Hi. It's me."

After a long awkward pause, Sam spoke up again. "How are you, Diane? "

"Oh, I am just fine. The weather here is nice and I've met some interesting people. You know, the most curious thing happened to me the other day? I was at recreation and some young fellow asked me out. Can you believe that? Imagine.."

"No, Diane. I mean, how are you?"

"Do you care?"

"I care…I care a lot. I want what's best for you, Diane. I want you to be happy. I know that I made you…" he looked over and saw Frasier shaking his head.

"I care, Diane. If there is anything you need just let me know."

"I don't want your pity, Sam. I can stand anything from you but pity."

"I don't pity you. Trust me you're not the kind of gal who earns pity. You earn respect and honesty and, well, I guess I haven't given you what you needed in the past, now have I?" Sam laughed bitterly. "But tell me what you need, because I will be there for you."

"I don't need anything from you, Sam. You and I had our time, and we left things how they should be. Let's just let everything stay in the past. I' m fine and I've moved on…"

Even Sam was aware enough to know that she was lying. "Diane… I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what happened between us, and you know how I feel about you. You know I love you…"

"Stop it!" Diane screamed. "Stop it. The Sam Malone I know would never say that, unless there was something in it for him. There is nothing left between us, and I want it that way. Don't you dare patronize me."

Frasier took the phone, and after pacifying Diane, he hung up and looked at Sam. "Why did you say that? Why did you tell Diane that you love her?"

"I don't know. It just felt like the right thing to say."

"Do you always do that? Do you always give in to your feelings so easily?"

"Ha! Not me. It just seemed like Diane was feeling bad so I thought I would take her mind off of things. I guess that backfired, didn't it?"

"Now would be an appropriate time to talk about what has happened."

"I'm not telling you, Frasier. Not unless…"

"Not unless what?

"Not unless you take me to see Diane. I have to see her. Please, I know I've blown it with her but I have to do what's right by her."

"I don't know that that's such a good idea, Sam," Frasier frowned.

"Please, just take me to see her, and then I'll tell you anything you need to know. You have my word."

As Sam held out his hand, Frasier thought about it for a minute, then accepted it. One way or the other, Diane would have to get past Sam. Maybe this visit would provide just the breakthrough that she needed. Against his better judgement, Frasier agreed to take Sam to Diane, where for once and for all, their relationship could be resolved. Or at least he hoped it would.


End file.
